Of which, one of my most valued skills that derived from him was the art of research. Generation Y-ers like myself are brought up in a “quick-to-self-gratification” culture. We are told by television commercials that we should get what we want and we can get what we want. That is not that case with my old man. If I wanted something, for example an iPod, according to his rules I would have to present a perfectly rational reason for my next possible purchase other than the fact that “I like it and all my friends have it”.

Once my reason for purchase has been approved by Dad, he would require me to sort the best prices in town. And for some reason, he would always know them better than I do if I tried to pull a quick one on him. So by the time I was ready to get the cash from him to buy the “most value for money” option, the next generation of gadget would have been birthed.

This would have been the most ardous cycle that I had to endure during my childhood. And that saw that I never own any game consoles or gadgets till the age of 17. If I had to share the most important lessons that I’ve learnt from my Dad, they would be these:

1. Always be on the lookout for prices of any item.
2. Know where to find accurate information. And be able to find them fast.
3. Rationalise your purchase desires. Do you really need it? Can you do without it? If someone paid you the same amount to not buy that item, would you accept it?

I was only a kid then, but looking back, I think my Dad did a pretty fine work to make me the resourceful chipmunk I am.

I was just thinking while driving home just now: how my deterioration of the Chinese language has somewhat created an unconscious barrier between my mum and myself. Well, we can still communicate from day to day about very essential items. Although occasionally I struggle to create meaningful and deep conversation at will because my mum probably would not understand very much of the English that I speak. And then I will try to translate directly, but it just doesn’t work all the time. It usually results in quite an embarrassment. So my mum will try to help me piece my statements together. Quite hilarious actually. I used to think that my mandarin was quite above the average for a typical ACSian.

It’s funny because my parents raised me to become effectively bilingual – my dad speaks to me in English and my mum in Mandarin. And there is a yearning to pray with my mum in the language that she understands, simply because it is always encouraging for her (or anyone for that matter). But all the Christian jargon and lingo in Mandarin has somewhat leaked from my brain. I should start listening to people who pray in Mandarin again to re-learn. I know my mum has it hard, and I think I really suck as a son. And probably the least I could do was to try to walk with her spiritually.

But at the end of the day, the least I could do for now is kiss her “good morning” or “good bye” just to let her know that I really love her. The kiss is probably the language that we both understand best.

As compared to my peers, I dare say that I’m considered to be more spendthrift. I only spend if I see the value, and I practice patience with my shopping. Although I do fancy some bigger brands (blame it on my Marketing course), I will not spend anything more than $20 for a t-shirt. I’ve never owned a gameboy, discman, walkman, play station or sega saturn (this one’s really really old).

But the very moment I ask for a loan because my client hasn’t paid me, my Dad and Mum rockets off to the very fact that I’m turning 21 and I should become more independent. I don’t blame them. I just thought it’ll be nice that they sorta see where you’re coming from once in a while. I mean, who wouldn’t want to travel around while you’re still in University with your mates before you hit the working world?

Anyway, so the moral of the story is: start becoming financially responsible now. Doesn’t matter whether you’re turning 21 tomorrow or 2 years from now, it’s never too early to start. I think I better start sourcing for more clients over the next 6 months. It pays to be debt free from your parents once you graduate. Well, technically you can’t because you owe them too much. But at least in my case my parents think otherwise. It’s complicated.

The strange thing is, the only things my parents do together are:

• watching TV
• doing the garden
• going to the mall
• going to Church
• open and read mails
• read the Bible

I don’t think they’ve been to the cinemas or romantic dates in a long time. I just thought it’s slightly strange. Okay, ignore me. I’m just thinking out loud.

• I would be the young 20something year old son who want to want to be an entrepreneur doing cool and new fun stuff as a source of income.
• And my dad would be like the wise old man, who’s the father of that son, and has seen all the overly creative people around him fall because they don’t do boring office jobs (i’m exaggerating here).

On the way home during the really bad traffic jam caused by the 120km/h gale force, my dad finally put the question to my throat, ‘where are you going to be in 2 years’ time after NS?’. And I had no idea how to answer his question.

Recently I left my job (because my boss and i decided that there weren’t enough projects for me and he didn’t want me to keep replying stupid support emails, but we’ll still keep in contact). And I joined a friend to form a startup. The rumours were true. So in some sense, my life has become somewhat uncertain (but very exciting hopefully!).

So my dad gave me this whole talk in the car.

you have to see ah liwei…

hey dad, when are you getting the insurance for me?
cos i need the car this Sunday.

why you need the car?

cos i need to go church early this Sunday.

are you free this Saturday?

huh? how are you going to get the insurance done within one day?

are you free or not? you have to pass a test.

huh? what test?

My Test to see whether you can drive it on Sunday.

-.-||| ok i will make Saturday free.

One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman,He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said,”Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart – and she will do everything with only two hands.

“The angel was astounded at the requirements.”Only two hands? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day.Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I won’t,” the Lord protested.” I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sickAND can work 18 hour days.

“The angel moved closer and touched the woman.”But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough.You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?” asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think,she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something,and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak”, the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy,her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”

The angel was impressed.”You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

If there is one flaw in women, it is that they forget their worth. please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.

Although I’m the eldest of all my cousins from my maternal side, it’s interesting to find out how the kids are doing especially since we don’t meet very often throughout the year.

Back in my time, sweets and candies would attract my sister and I like flies to garbage. Now, they are sticking to technology like the price tag that wouldn’t come off. My ten year old cousins have email accounts and they play games online. I don’t remember myself doing that 10 years ago (gosh, i’m getting really old). Well, not that I didn’t have access to internet when I was younger, but the amount of interaction they have with computers are tremendous! They know stuff like hotmail, gmail, youtube, and all the other web 2.0 stuff that I usually fiddle with at work. Speaking of which, their generation might make an interesting prospect for business in future. *liwei makes note to self*

Anyway, back to reunion dinners. I like it how all of us gather back together to have steamboat. It makes my grandmother very happy too. I think there’s something about me seeing elderly people smile. I’ll melt. My uncle will perform his annual ritual of slicing thin strips of abalone, and all of us crowding around trying to steal some before the stock boils on the other side of the house. Then after dinner, everyone will sit around the TV – and now around the laptop the church lent me – to talk and play. Reminds me of the good old times.

And I guess it is good preparation for when I come back to Singapore next year for National Service. I won’t feel too ‘left out’ from the family after all the years I spent overseas.

Coming to think, goodness, my family has been having steamboat for reunion dinners for almost 5 years running now!

good job Singapore! i’m proud to be one of you. i’m serious.

Although he knows i will never be able to pay him back (maybe even with my life at the moment), my little gesture of giving him some of my salary goes a long way. I hope he knows i work hard to be independent and that i can’t be counting on him all the time.

Like Bart Simpson, my father doesn’t love me the way many other fathers do. But what i know is, he loves me simply by providing because that is what he knows love to be best expressed.